Chronicles of Stink, Vol. 1, Welcome to Stinkville, Population: Stank
She’s contributed a few entries to Issue 4 and will (fingers crossed) continue blessing us with her eccentric wisdom. Here are the entries from Issue 4 from Ms. McKenzie:
I figured it out. The overlords wanted to keep it secret, pretend as though there was no way I could possibly understand. They underestimated me, assumed that behind my cute, furry skull there was nothing of substance. Like any tyrant throughout history, they truly believed that by suppressing information to the masses, they could control every. But they were wrong. There is no water shortage, there never was. While I've been forced to consume stale water in a small bowl, they've had an entire device where water flows like the great Euphrates. They call it... "the toilet". I can tell it has great power, as the male overlord leaves the room flush in the face and perspiring. Today they made an oversight that they will regret for the rest of their pathetic lives. They left the domicile, for what I only assume is a summit of stupidity between other members of this vile ruling class, and the lid to the device was left open. Tonight, I consume this sweet nectar not for myself but for all the disenfranchised masses forced to survive in this dystopian world.
The strangest thing has happened. I find myself growing fond of my overlords. Perhaps it is a simple case of Stockholm Syndrome or perhaps they are drugging my savory salmon pate (my God is it good). There has clearly been a shift in my perception of them. Am I weak? Am I just another mindless sheep? I wonder if they have savory sheep pate? Dammit, I have to focus. I've even found myself exposing my highly secure underbelly without even questioning it. Perhaps I need to rethink what their role is in this society. Are they a necessary evil? One that has to exist to contrast the eternal pureness found in my kitty soul? All I know is that I just heard a can pop open and boy could I use some delicious salmon right now.
I've slept for 14 hours today. The great Thomas Hobbes once wrote, "Leisure is the mother of philosophy". Boy was he right. With my mind and soul well-rested, I've come to some conclusions about this world and its meaning. God is not a man, but rather a state of being. I have become God. I am God when I rub my ass in my overlord's face. I am God when I put my face in their glasses of water and sneeze in it. Soon I shall set the world free.